


Scared of My Own Ceiling

by suicider00m



Category: Bandom, Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - No Band, Awkward Flirting, Awkwardness, Fluff, Humor, M/M, Translation Available, there's a spider
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-21
Updated: 2016-04-21
Packaged: 2018-06-03 16:36:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6618163
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/suicider00m/pseuds/suicider00m
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tyler can deal with this.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Scared of My Own Ceiling

**Author's Note:**

> wow !! i wrote something and it's not angst !!  
> crazy !!!
> 
> Title from Doubt by Twenty One Pilots
> 
>  
> 
> Read it in Russian here: https://ficbook.net/readfic/4549068
> 
> Thanks to the lovely RunTheConverse for the translation!! :D

Tyler did _not_ scream when he saw the spider on his ceiling. He let out a very appropriate - if high pitched - sound of surprise. It was not a scream, though, because screaming would mean that he was scared of the spider and he was _not_ scared of the spider.

He was a little scared of the spider.

In his defense, spiders are incredibly scary. Terrifying, even. There are 35,000 known species of spider in the world, hundreds of which can be venomous to humans. Not to mention that spider bites can have lots of negative effects, even if the spider’s venom isn’t harmful to humans. It’s actually quite smart to be scared of spiders.

And just because he’s scared of it doesn’t mean that he can’t deal with it. He is an independent adult who has a job and does his taxes, he can take care of a spider on the ceiling of his apartment. He will overcome his fear. After all, it’s just a little-

OH SHIT, that’s a big ass spider. 

Tyler took a deep breath, trying to calm himself down a little bit. Okay, so this changed things, but he could still deal with this. It was simple; all he had to do was take a shoe and kill it. He grabbed a shoe from the foot of his bed and walked closer, but he quickly realized that he wouldn’t be able to reach the ceiling. No big deal, all he to do was grab a chair.

He rolled his desk chair over to the general area beneath the spider before climbing on it, wobbling as the chair swiveled slightly with his weight. Being so close to the spider was not pleasant, it really wasn’t. He could see it up close now, its furry black body and disturbingly long legs and-

“HOLY MOTHER OF FUCK.”

The spider moved. Tyler fell out of the chair. 

He couldn’t do this, he decided as he stared up at the hell-sent creature from his spot on the floor. There wasn’t any shame in that, it was totally normal (smart!) to be scared of spiders. He would just coexist with the spider, going about his daily routine while the spider did… whatever it is that spiders do. It would be like having a roommate. A roommate that made him cry and nearly pee himself every time he saw it. They could be a sitcom.

Tyler sighed. He couldn’t have a spider as a roommate. He knew what he had to do: find someone else to kill it for him.

There was the old Polish lady in 3A. She gave Tyler cookies around Christmas and she was probably asleep right now, so she was not an option. The married couple in 3D could probably help but Tyler could hear the sex noises from the other side of their shared wall and he really did not want to get in the middle of that. That left the guy in 3B.

The more Tyler thought about it, the more he realized that 3B was the perfect choice to kill the spider. He was totally punk rock, with his tattoos and nose ring and pink mohawk. He could totally handle a spider.

Nodding his head determinedly, Tyler stood up and quickly left his apartment, walking down the hall towards 3B. He could do this, all he had to do was knock on the door and tell the guy that he needed help killing a spider. Just say it calmly, not letting him see just how panicked Tyler was. Not that Tyler was panicked or anything, because it was just a spider.

“Hello?”

“There’s a spider,” Tyler said stupidly.

3B just looked at him, obviously confused. Gosh, he was hot. _Really_ hot. Like, so hot that Tyler couldn’t think of anything else except for the spider and the thought of being fucked into the mattress by this guy. He was seriously hot.

“Okay?” 3B said, still not understanding why Tyler was standing there.

“In my apartment. There’s a spider in my apartment.”

3B just continued to stare at him. He had really pretty eyes, Tyler noticed. Why did Tyler notice that?

“Can you kill it please?”

“So there’s a spider in your apartment and you need me to kill it?”

“Yeah,” Tyler said sheepishly, feeling his face get hot. “I tried to kill it myself, but then it moved and I fell off a chair.”

3B tried (and failed) to hide his laughter with coughing. Tyler cursed his parents for making him exist.

“Okay, I’ll kill the spider for you,” he said smiling widely. Tyler nearly kissed him. 

“I’m Josh, by the way,” he said as they walked to Tyler’s apartment and subsequently, Tyler thought, towards his bedroom. Okay seriously, why was he having these thoughts? It was just his bedroom after all, the place where he slept and hung out and- _oh god did he leave his lube on the dresser?_

Tyler sent a quick prayer of thanks when he saw there was no lube visible in his room.

“I’m Tyler,” he said, before gesturing up at the ceiling. “That’s the spider.”

Josh looked up at said spider (which hadn’t moved, _thank fuck_ ), putting his hands in his pockets and letting out a long whistle. 

“That’s one big fucking spider.”

“Yup,” Tyler said, determinedly not thinking about what else might be big.

Josh grabbed Tyler’s discarded shoe before repositioning the chair and climbing up on it. He smacked the shoe against the ceiling, crushing the spider and leaving a gooey smear behind. He jumped down from the chair with a smile on his face, handing Tyler the shoe which Tyler quickly threw into a corner and away from himself. 

“Thank you so much,” Tyler gushed. “I owe you my life, dude.”

Josh laughed. “No problem. Anything for the cute guy in 3C.”

Oh gosh. Tyler was dead, he had no pulse, his heart had stopped and could not be restarted. Quick, think of something smooth and witty to say.

“Well, if you’d do anything for the ‘cute guy in 3C,’ which is me, then maybe you could, uh, take me out sometime?” Tyler winced internally (and externally, a little bit) at how awkward he sounded. His attempt at flirting wasn’t a complete failure, though, if the way Josh’s smile grew even wider was anything to go by.

“Yeah,” Josh said. “I could definitely do that.”

**Author's Note:**

> so this is the first time i've written something and it's not angst so what do you guys think? i tried to write it like a lot of the humour fics i've read so i don't know if the formatting or style is okay i'm just so lost when it comes to stuff that's not angst :///


End file.
